When "Thank You" Isn't Enough

Question: Why is it so hard for women to just say thank you after being complimented?

It’s like we can’t say thank you and leave at that.

Here’s a scenario of what I’m talking about:

“OMG, I love your dress. It is soooooo cute!”

“Really, this one? My sister gave it to me four months ago when I was in town for a conference. I was just about to leave for dinner and she was like, ‘Here, wear this dress… you’ll look good in it.’ And I was like, ‘ok’. So I wore it with brown pumps and it was soooo comfortable. I was glad she had loaned it to me. Then I left town and forgot to give it back and now I have a new dress...”

I mean, really. Is all that really necessary?

Why do we feel a strong need to explain away a kind word directed at us? Is it that uncomfortable to just say thank you and nothing else?

I’m not judging. I’m guilty of this crime myself.

In fact, this is my topic because a good friend of mine raised the very question after she told me she liked my pocketbook and my response was, “D-S-Double Youuuuuuuuuuuuu.”

Instead of just saying thanks, for some strange reason, I felt compelled to tell her I bought it at DSW. Isn’t that weird?

I do it all the time though.

Someone says I love your bag…I tell them it’s fake leather.
Someone says I like your haircut…I tell them it’s too short.
Someone says your baby is cute…I point out his chipped front tooth.

Why do women feel such a strong need to deflect? It's like it's painful to accept a little praise.

Here’s another one: A woman tells another woman she’s pretty, and the response is: “No! YOU’RE pretty!”....Of course that’s assuming complimenter number one doesn’t look like Steve Buscemi…that guy that played in Reservoir Dogs and The Wedding Singer:














Yeah, it doesn't really work then.

And on a related note, what do you do when a stranger pays you a compliment on an article of clothing or an accessory and then asks you where you got it? Do you tell them without hesitation figuring if they really like it, they should have it?

I consider myself a nice person, but to the extent that I can limit the number of girls wearing the same kelly green tube dress I got at Forever 21, I’m going to do it. So from me, you might here one of several pre-prepared responses:

Wow…hmmm….gosh, ya know, I can’t remember, I’ve had it for about 10 years now.
or
I’m not sure, my mom got it for me.
or my favorite,
This? I found it in this cute little shop I like to hit up when I’m in Saskatchewan…get there often?

Speaking of Forever 21, I have a love-hate relationship with that place. The uber-trendy styles and the shiny bling that only the fakest of gold chains can cast off draws me in every time.

Once I found this lonely dress that looked misplaced and forgotten on an out-of-the-way rack in the back of the store. As far as I could tell there seemed to be only one of them. It was cute and cheap like most of the stuff at Forever 21 and H&M, so I decided to do the unthinkable: I bought it to wear to one of those high-profile, pretentious Dallas parties. You know the kind where the society rag sends a photographer out and you can have the server bring you a “Jerry Jones” on the rocks. Yeah, one of those.

Big mistake.

Get there, and seconds after walking in, a tipsy fashionista flutters over to me, and with a fully-extended arm, points at my dress and squeals, “Forever 21, right?!...” Right, biii-yatch. Thanks for noticing.

Hater.

Anyway, here’s a challenge: For the next seven days see if you can respond to any and all compliments by saying thank you and nothing else. I’m interested in hearing how it goes. And if you’ve already mastered the art of graciously accepting praise, I think that’s pretty cool. Keep it up.